Sexually Based Offenses…

“In The Criminal Justice System,
Sexually Based Offenses Are Considered
Especially Heinous

Although, maybe they’re not especially heinous
if you’ve got one of the three s’s up your sleeve:
Stanford, Student, or Swimmer

Or perhaps, if you’re a grabby billionaire
with a political agenda,
you can find a way around it.

And maybe, just maybe, if you’re a decorated
boxer with an…interesting…face tattoo
you can be convicted and still go on like nothing happened.

Likewise, if you’re a TV/movie star accused of
sexual and physical abuse, threats, and forced abortions
you can continue “winning” making $1.8 million an episode.

Even after all this, people still wonder why survivors hesitate to come forward.


God Bless, and Stay Safe out there, everyone ❤

Maybe They Don’t Hit You But…

Here is my take on the “Maybe he doesn’t hit you” hashtag that has been going around. Although, I do understand that this is NOT always a HE pronoun…so I changed it to THEY.

We have all seen it…whether you have been on the receiving end, or whether you have a loved one who has told you about it…that relationship that just doesn’t quite seem right.

  • It could be the “get your ass home” texts
  • It could be the punch holes in your walls
  • It could be the extent of your fights
  • It could be how suspicious they get when all you do is go to the grocery store
  • It could be how they tell you that you are nothing without them
  • It could be how they apologize every time and say it’ll never happen again
  • It could be how it was “a rough day”
  • It could be how sometimes you forget you’re even in a relationship
  • It could be how it always “was just a joke”

Often times, emotional abuse is even worse than physical abuse.

Bruises and bones heal,
But the mind is far more complex –
A  bruise there can have impacts
that last a lifetime.

You are worth so much more than you let yourself believe. You are worth the world on a silver platter. You deserve the:

  • “I cannot wait to see you!”
  • “I am so thankful for you”
  • “I appreciate you so much”
  • “Have a great time!”
  • The tightness of their hugs
  • The intimacy of their touch – even if its just their hand on your shoulder – you feel their love and their warmth.
  • “You complete me”
  • Cute notes left all around the house
  • Laughing fits so long your abs are on fire
  • “You make my worst days into my best days”
  • The cheesiest of relationships

You deserve the
Sickening
Puppy Love
Movie Plot
Head Over Heels
LOVE.STORY.

I promise you that it is out there, and I promise you that it is possible.

You have to be willing to believe it. You have to be willing to realize that you are the only one that can make yourself happy. You have to be willing to walk away for your sanity and your well being. Because, maybe they don’t hit you, but they might constantly make you feel like you are doing something wrong.

It is much easier said than done – we like being comfortable, we like sticking to what we know, and we like having that person there (even if we know we aren’t even really all that happy). As silly as it sounds, it’s hard putting yourself first and taking care of you. I came across this Ted article the other day and fell in love. I instantly bookmarked it so I can go back and remind myself to take care of my emotional mental health.

There comes a time where you have to put self love first – your happiness, your sanity, YOUR life – that’s what matters. Stop coming up with excuses as to why the cons outweigh the pros, it is time for you to be happy.

We were all put here to be happy…so make it happen.
It’s your time.

A Year Ago…

Vanish
From friendships to hobbies to habits
another year gone, and so many changes
Letting go of what was
Letting the grudges disappear

The daily prompt today is vanish. I’ve been thinking a lot about this past year. Thinking about how much has changed – how much has vanished, but also how much has appeared. I’m starting to realize who my true friends are and am beginning to grow closer to them all. I’m gaining new friendships, and rekindling old ones, and it feels great.

This time last year, I was panicking over my senior year of college…worrying about failing my finals, graduating on time (even though it was a year late but shh), finding a job after college and finally being a big kid. I was worried about having friends and making sure I was still in the loop. I was fixated on grudges that I was holding onto and was all too interested in what everyone was doing.

Now, it is about love and happiness
It is about who, and what, brings me joy.
It is not about what others think,
instead it is what I know to be true…
& I know that I am strong!

It is time to focus on me – my well being, my happiness, and my priorities. It is time to focus on those who take the time to focus on me. Now, I am only 24 years old, I know that I am still young and have a lot to learn. However, I have recently come to terms with the fact that every relationship needs to be a give and take, I do not see the point in putting effort into a relationship that is a one way street. At first, it was really hard to realize this and be okay with it, now, I am embracing it.

Vanishing sounds like such a scary and horrible thing. But I’m starting to realize it’s the exact opposite. It just means change, and change is good. Change is exciting. It means letting go of the past, letting go of grudges, and letting the negativity disappear. It means learning new things about yourself and allows you to grow as a person.

It’s time to be positive, and it is time to start finding the silver lining.

Horrifying Echo Effect

Today, my heart is full of sadness. I read yet another article about another person taking her life, at the young, beautiful age of 18, because the bullies finally got to her.

It breaks my heart to know that THIS is what we have come to:

  • Parents teaching their kids that it is okay to beat someone’s mind and confidence down.
  • Teenagers thinking it is okay to tear someone down because they’re having a bad day.
  • Children being raised in houses filled with hate and resentment for other humans.
  • The absolute lack of discipline for actions so horrible.
  • The fact that there are MULTIPLE APPS for the sole purpose of hiding who you are…absolutely nothing good can come from this, because apparently spreading love is too much to ask for.

These applications are used to pretend to be someone you’re not, whether it’s to fool someone into liking you or to hide behind a screen while you – quite literally – ruin someone’s life.

As someone who was bullied in middle school, I can attest to the fact that it is horrifying. I thank God that the extent of mine was having friends turned against me for ridiculous reasons and was not extreme enough to make me feel so hopeless. Some people aren’t so lucky…

Those words: “you’re so ugly” “jeez, you’re so fat that you should really start asking for two seats in class” “you have no friends, what are you even doing here?” “Why don’t you just kill yourself?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

Those words are a never ending echo for the person who has to hear them. When you start hearing something enough times, you really start to believe that it is true. I am honestly choking up just writing this; I cannot imagine the horror, hatred, sadness, loneliness, and frustration these people have.

What we also have to realize is that compliments and LOVE also echo within us. Unfortunately, it takes a lot more of those words to stick. Being a good human being does not cost a thing, it does not hurt you, it does not take more than the 5 seconds to share a smile. Being a bully takes manipulation, planning, apps to keep yourself a secret, and the never ending guilt that you end up with after you cost someone their life.

We are all here for the same reason – to live our lives happily. We all want to be full of joy in everything that we do. We all want to be liked. We all want to feel love. Being mean to other people is not a reflection of them, it’s a reflection of you, and being mean won’t get you anything but a life full of hatred for others and yourself.

Life is full of challenges…so let’s start accepting some of them:

Teach your children to love
Say hi to that person in the elevator
Smile at that person on the street
Tell your loved ones that you love them
Let everyone know you’re there for them
Don’t ever give up
Sit with that lonely kid (or adult!) at lunch
Think before you speak
Realize you are NEVER alone 

If you ever find yourself in need of some help:
Suicide prevention lifeline – If you feel like you’re reaching the edge
7 Cups of Tea – If you just want someone to listen to you
Is it time to get help? – If you’re wondering if it’s time to reach out
You are NEVER alone – this is to my contact section, do not ever hesitate to reach out to me. I am a great listener, I will never judge you, and I won’t even answer if you just want to get something off your chest
God Bless, and stay safe 

Wellness Wednesday is Back!

Now, last Wednesday I talked a lot about health. This Wednesday, I want to focus on the health of your mind and happiness, because those are equally as important. 

As I said in my about the author, Miranda Lambert is my spirit animal. I love her music and her attitude – she stays real and doesn’t try to hide her flaws. 

Her new (DOUBLE!!!!!!!!) album just came out and I’m already in love. She has a lot of awesome songs on there that really help tell the story about the last year or so of her life. There’s one on there, though, that sticks with me the most: Runnin Just In Case. 

The last line of this song is “happiness ain’t prison, but there’s freedom in a broken heart.” 

This line struck me so hard. I know so many people, myself included, who have struggled with the idea of ending something – whether it be a relationship, a habit, a lifestyle, or something completely different. 

In regards to a relationship; 

  • we’re worried about being alone
  • we’re comfortable where we are so we don’t want to change it
  • we’re too scared to make a move. 

In regards to a habit or a lifestyle; 

  • it just seems like a burden to change the way we eat, or 
  • plan out the way we spend money, or 
  • wake up earlier and go to sleep earlier 

 We fear change. And that’s okay, it’s how we handle it that makes it a problem. 

When I first heard that line, I played it back probably 3 times, and I really had to think about the meaning. 

And then it hit me. 

There IS freedom in a broken heart. You find yourself, you find out how to live without someone else, or something else, that you’re so used to having. You learn about how strong you truly are, and that you CAN make it through and do anything you set your mind to. You learn who your TRUE FRIENDS are. Making a drastic change is stressful and it’s painful, your true friends will be there to help you pick up the pieces. 

The most important thing when talking about relationships, is realizing there is life OUTSIDE of love. You will be happy again, you will be strong and make it through. You’ll meet other people, find new friends and new hobbies. You will get there, you just have to be willing to do it. 

So here’s to another challenge!! This time, I challenge you to be happy! I know it sounds silly, but it can be hard to make that move! Baby steps are the perfect place to start, evaluate your happiness, and prioritize what you need to do to get there. Don’t wait until the new year for that resolution (because those always die by February 1st). Start the year off right by starting on the right path, instead of starting with having to make a scary change. 

And to you, Miranda Lambert, THANK YOU! Your music, interviews, posts and stories have inspired me in so many ways. Thank you for staying true to yourself, and for never trying to hide who you are. Writing is my passion, and having your idol speak to you in their song to inspire a reason to write is truly an incredible feeling. 

And since I know you all want to be just as obsessed as I am, here’s Runnin Just In Case!

Happy Wellness Wednesday!

Hi friends!

This week, I made a really important promise to myself; I’m gonna stop complaining, and start acting.

I have been really unhappy with my health, I’ve gained a lot of weight, and can tell in every picture or glance in the mirror. I kept complaining and saying it needed to change but kept getting off track.

I’ve always been the person to tell people “if you don’t like something, change it!” and I’m finally taking my own advice.

It’s time for no more excuses!


I’m waking up at (precisely) 4:06 in the morning, and getting my butt to the gym early. I’m starting with a plan that worked for me in the past and will alter as I go!

Now I have my (very few) followers to hold me accountable –  no more backing out.

I also understand it is extremely important to take care of your mind. I think it’s really important for all of us to take a step back and think about that sometimes.

Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Take that extra time in the day to relax and do something to unwind. Compliment a stranger on the street or give to a charity (surprisingly enough, things that don’t even benefit me, are the things that make me the happiest).

It’s okay to be sad sometimes, it’s okay to be angry sometimes, what matters most is that you don’t let it ruin you. Keep your chin up, keep your mind positive, and keep moving forward!


Cheesy motivation post over; carry on 🤗

I Challenge You

This week at work, I signed up to participate in Letters to Santa. This is a program where underprivileged kids send in their ‘letters to santa’ and people are able to pick up the letters to get them the presents of their dreams.

If they’re school age and able, they write out their letters. My little boy is 5 years old, and drew me pictures. His requests were so simple: a “bunny rabbit” (sorry kid, but you can only get a stuffed one), “books about turtles” (with a beautiful picture of a turtle that has one giant eyebrow and the face on the back of his head), and “a Mexican flag”!

I have done programs like this with my family before, and I have seen some heartbreaking wishes – children asking for necessities like hats, gloves, coats, and boots.

It really made me take a step back and realize how lucky I am.

We (myself included) complain about every little thing:

  • Having to wake up early to go to work
  • Having “no food” in the house 
  • Not getting that $50 makeup and having to settle for the “cheap” $20 one
  • Not having the trendiest clothes 
  • Having an “older” model car or smart phone 
  • Not being able to afford a manicure or to get your hair colored

I want to take a pledge. A pledge to start being more thankful, more appreciative. We take so many things for granted, and it’s really not okay for us to do so. We have SO much that other people would kill for. 

This holiday season, I challenge you. I challenge you to pay it forward, do a good deed. Whether it’s as small as paying for someone’s coffee, or as big as paying off someone’s layaway at the store. Be thankful for what we have. I hope that you carry on the holiday spirit and generosity well after the holiday season is over. 

People aren’t only struggling during the holidays. Sometimes, people just need a smile and a hello to turn them away from the edge.

We’re all in this life together, and you never know what someone is going through. It never hurts to be kind. 

God bless, and stay safe. ❤️

America the Divided

This morning, I woke up sad. 

I am not only sad for the fact that someone as insulting as Trump could be elected, but I am also sad for us as a country. Now, this is not necessarily because I think we will be run into the ground – although I am very nervous for the future of our nation – I am sad for us because we just took so many steps back. I, in no way, was a strong supporter of either candidate. They both had major flaws that scared me.

As a country, we should be brave. We should be strong and stand together. As fellow citizens, we should be willing to back each other up, to help one another out. We should be PROUD of our country. We should be waving our flags and moving on. We should be welcoming new people, encouraging them to bring their culture and their ideas. 

After this election, all of that goes out the window. I am praying that I am proven wrong. I truly hope that we come together as a country, that this man, and supporters of both candidates, can put their differences aside and keep working to be the best nation on the planet. 

It’s time to step up. It’s time to stand together and back each other up. 

Now, I’m not saying I know a lot about politics, I am not some political expert who follows every aspect. I know there are plenty of things I don’t know, but I do know that we will never make it if we are constantly grabbing at each other’s throats. It’s time to put on our big kid pants and learn how to play nice. 

I may not be a fan of our president, but I am a fan of our country

At this point, we must focus on what we can do right; how can we make this better? What can we do, as a country, to TRULY make America great again?

God bless, and stay safe. 

My Sappy Thank You Letter to my Boyfriend

Yeah, yeah. Cliche in every way, but totally necessary. 

Last week (oops, slacking, yet again), The Daily Post’s weekly Discover Challenge is Superhero. I have two huge superheroes in my life, so I thought I’d give them both their own post, because they deserve it!

23 years old, exactly where we have always dreamed of being. We’ve had our fair share (and then some) of road blocks, but we finally made it! College degrees (thanks to that victory lap), great careers, and our own place. A place we can call home, a place we can relax and kick our feet up. A place to host our wild and crazy Friday nights full of Netflix and snacks.

I am so proud of you for everything you’ve accomplished and the man you have grown into. We have come so far and I’m so excited for our future together.

You made the hardest year of my life so much easier to handle, and I can never thank you enough. But, I’ll start with these:

  1. First and foremost: thank you for never giving up on us; for being the Cory to my Topanga. We hit some boulder size rocky roads and you kept holding on, making sure we never got too banged up.
  2. Thank you for being so excited about us. I am absolutely ecstatic for our future, and hearing you talk about it makes me even more excited. Seeing your eyes light up when you talk about your dreams and plans for us, truly melts my heart.
  3. Thank you for your effort. You always do everything in your power to make  me feel better; whether it’s a heart made out of rose petals on the bed or stopping at the store to run an errand for me to make my after work activities a little more bearable. For always doing the dishes after I cook dinner, and for always offering to get me medicine or whatever I need to make that horrible migraine go away (again).
  4. Thank you for never failing to make me smile. Everything from your silly voices to your childish games followed by that sharp “hehehehe!” always have the power to turn my day around.
  5. Thank you for accepting me. I’m pretty weird, and (even more accurately) pretty gross. You see me do some pretty weird things, and see me at my worst (hello morning breath with a side of acne topped with 3 day unwashed hair). My weird quirks (even numbers and right side first), my irrational fears (although you tend to test those a lot…), and my SUPER ANNOYING personality – for some odd reason, after all this, you still keep me around (:
  6. Thank you for not taking my “I’m going to murder you” face when you wake me up in the morning seriously. I promise I love you and I don’t wanna kill you…but the sleep, it calls out to me and takes over my facial expressions.
  7. Thank you for accepting my cuddles, even when you swear you won’t. I know you love them, don’t lie.
  8. Most importantly, thank you for showing me what love is. Thank you for always giving it your all, for never letting me forget that you care, and for never letting the spark die. Thank you for being The One.

I know this doesn’t even begin to cut it, but thank you for being you, and loving me for me.

(Take it away, Shania)  –> “Looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come, my baby”

My Rock, My Hero, My Daddy

Last week, (I spent too long editing) The Daily Post’s weekly Discover Challenge is Superhero.  All I had to do was take one look at that word, and think of my Daddy – although I like to think ‘Saint’ describes him way better.

I could talk on and on about my dad for literally days. He is my rock, my shelter, my inspiration, and my drive. He is the voice of reason every time I need help:

  • How do you hard boil eggs…call Dad for instructions
  • My car is making this really weird noise…call Dad for explanations and severity level
  • My stomach hurts real bad what do I do…call Dad for remedies and causes
  • I think I bombed that test…call Dad for reassurance
  • I can’t STAND this teacher…call Dad for some humbling “suck it up” advice, followed by a similar, awesome story of his from his college days
  • Crap I’m lost…call Dad for directions, included with mile markers and NSEW gps turn navigation
  • This yogurt expired…call Dad to see if you’re gonna die because you already ate it

The man knows everything, seriously. When in doubt, call Norb.

I am so unbelievably blessed to have this superhero of a father. A father who would drive me to school 3 blocks away because it was raining or blizzard snowing and I didn’t want to walk. A father who would drive back and forth to school to drop me off in the morning, drop my bowling ball off after school, and then come to pick me up after practice. A father who never failed to give up, a father who worked 6-6 everyday and then still came home to make us dinner. A father who dealt with multiple whiny teenage girls fighting and screaming over clothes and computer time. A father who dropped what he was doing to pull out a GIANT table map of the Chicago suburbs to tell me an alternate way to get to work when the highway was closed because of a turned over truck – and then telling me alternate ALTERNATE ways when the first couple didn’t work because of a stopped train on the tracks.

He was the first man I ever loved, and the man that holds the highest standard for every other human being on this planet. Norb knows it all, and what Norb says goes (even if I didn’t want to believe that when I was a bratty 16 year old).

img_2830-1

He is an actual mix between a magician and MacGyver. A broken shoe, a dent in a car, a ruined zipper, a football cake pan that just won’t stay flat when you put the batter in it – you name it, he can fix it. If you go to him in the worst possible mood, he can make you feel better…just like magic.

He has shown me and my sisters what love is, he has shown us what we deserve and taught us to never settle for anything less. He pushed us to make sure we were always giving 110% and never giving up; he knew we could do it, so he made sure we did.

He deals with our ‘fun’ games that include asking him what year, make and model every car we pass on the street is, playing punch bug in the back of the car , playing the name games on our road trips, listening to us sing extremely obnoxious songs (hello Tigger song and Little Bunny FooFoo) with our friends while he tried – and probably failed – to tune us out. He dealt with me reading every.single.sign. after I learned how to read, and with my sisters and I screaming at each other every day for something different. He (somehow) managed not to hand us grilled cheese and french fries every night when he would feed us the exact same thing a second time because we liked it the first, but then change our minds and decide we suddenly cannot eat it without dying.

He always supported us, reminding us that our first priority is school; school ALWAYS comes first, and he would always understand that some things, like math and imaginary numbers, just don’t click, no matter how hard we focus.

But most importantly, he never lets us forget that he loves us. He is the perfect definition of a father. He is a FANTASTIC grandfather, as well as father, and I know we are all the luckiest people alive to have him in our lives.

Thank you for everything you do for us, Daddy. We will never be able to thank you enough.
I love you.