Why I Won’t Spend Any More Time on Toxic People

Every year that I look back, I realize how much I’ve grown and how amazing it has been. The friends I’ve made, the confidence I’ve gained, the lessons I’ve learned, the life events that have happened (helllloo engagement!), and everything I’ve been able to experience have all just been so incredibly mind boggling.

However, there have also been some people (and things) I’ve had to cut out, and that’s okay. Sometimes, we want so badly for someone to be good so we try and try to make it work, when in reality we’re just holding onto the bumper of a moving car and we have to realize we’ve gotta let it go (thank you Lorelai Gilmore for that wonderful analogy).

Sometimes relationships – whether they’re romantic or just friendships – can be really abusive if you keep holding on. It isn’t always  getting hit, sometimes it can be as simple as:

  • Getting unnecessary and untrue rumors spread about you
  • Getting your secrets spilled
  • Constant negative energy (you know, those people who are constantly complaining about something or always getting into trouble)
  • Bad influences (someone you feel like you’ve never hung-out with without drinking or doing something unhealthy)
  • They never let you talk, but always expect you to listen to them
  • Drama never seems to leave them alone (but they hate drama, right?)
  • Their pants are often on fire (because of the lies)
  • Other peoples’ names never leave their mouth

Ain’t nobody got time for all that.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be surrounded by positive, good people. I want to be surrounded by people who encourage me to do and be better. I want to be surrounded by people who love other people, who encourage other people and take the time to help other people, not who spend the time to tear other people down.

Misery really does love it’s company, and I promise you, these people will do everything in their power to get their company. Don’t let them have it. Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. Positive vibes and good deeds go much further than negative ones.

We are all too strong, too fabulous, and too important to deal with negativity, toxic relationships, and unnecessary drama.

Wellness Wednesday – It’ll Be Okay

WELLNESS WEDNESDAY IS HERE!

Life is really hard sometimes. We get chewed up and spit out. Then right when we think we’ve got ourselves cleaned up  and put pack together, we get stomped all over and thrown in front of a bus; left there to clean up the mess and bandage ourselves up once again.

On my return to blogging (it’s been a really long time and it’s sad but it’s fine) what is a better comeback than my beloved wellness Wednesday!?

This week, I’m here to remind you that it will all be okay. 

We’ve all been through way more than we thought we could ever handle, and look at us now. We always come back stronger than ever, right on top where we belong.


Here’s what we can do to remind ourselves that it’s going to get better and to help us get there:

  1. Remind yourself that you’ve been here before, and then remember everything you learned from it. We all go through hard times, and during those times we are convinced nothing is worse than this moment and it’s never going to get better. But then a few weeks go by and we start to smile more, a couple months go by and we realize we don’t get hurt as easily, we learn new things about ourselves. So many positive things come from negative experiences, we just have to be willing to notice them.
  2. Actually write out those pros (yes this is a pro con list without the cons, we don’t need that negativity in our lives). It sounds cheesy, but seeing all of those positives on paper helps. Keep the list and add to it, every time you notice a new positive, add it to the list. One day you’ll look at that list and notice it’s a full page of positive outcomes and BAM, it won’t seem so bad anymore.
  3. Be self aware. It’s hard to admit when we need help sometimes. People ask us how we are doing and the answer is always either good, fine, or okay. If you feel yourself breaking, do something about it. Talking to your friends or a therapist is a good way to help yourself figure out if you’re really okay, and remind yourself that you will be one day. And, if it’s hard for you to talk to someone…
  4. Journal your thoughts. I’ve said it 10,000 times before and I’ll say it a million more. It works. Get a blank journal and just write away, get a guided journal to focus on a specific thing, just get to writing!

Let’s actually ask people how they are instead of mindlessly walking through the motions of small talk.  We’re all human, we’re all just trying to get through life, so let’s help each other out.

It will be okay. 

God Bless, and Stay Safe

Sexually Based Offenses…

“In The Criminal Justice System,
Sexually Based Offenses Are Considered
Especially Heinous

Although, maybe they’re not especially heinous
if you’ve got one of the three s’s up your sleeve:
Stanford, Student, or Swimmer

Or perhaps, if you’re a grabby billionaire
with a political agenda,
you can find a way around it.

And maybe, just maybe, if you’re a decorated
boxer with an…interesting…face tattoo
you can be convicted and still go on like nothing happened.

Likewise, if you’re a TV/movie star accused of
sexual and physical abuse, threats, and forced abortions
you can continue “winning” making $1.8 million an episode.

Even after all this, people still wonder why survivors hesitate to come forward.


God Bless, and Stay Safe out there, everyone ❤

Maybe They Don’t Hit You But…

Here is my take on the “Maybe he doesn’t hit you” hashtag that has been going around. Although, I do understand that this is NOT always a HE pronoun…so I changed it to THEY.

We have all seen it…whether you have been on the receiving end, or whether you have a loved one who has told you about it…that relationship that just doesn’t quite seem right.

  • It could be the “get your ass home” texts
  • It could be the punch holes in your walls
  • It could be the extent of your fights
  • It could be how suspicious they get when all you do is go to the grocery store
  • It could be how they tell you that you are nothing without them
  • It could be how they apologize every time and say it’ll never happen again
  • It could be how it was “a rough day”
  • It could be how sometimes you forget you’re even in a relationship
  • It could be how it always “was just a joke”

Often times, emotional abuse is even worse than physical abuse.

Bruises and bones heal,
But the mind is far more complex –
A  bruise there can have impacts
that last a lifetime.

You are worth so much more than you let yourself believe. You are worth the world on a silver platter. You deserve the:

  • “I cannot wait to see you!”
  • “I am so thankful for you”
  • “I appreciate you so much”
  • “Have a great time!”
  • The tightness of their hugs
  • The intimacy of their touch – even if its just their hand on your shoulder – you feel their love and their warmth.
  • “You complete me”
  • Cute notes left all around the house
  • Laughing fits so long your abs are on fire
  • “You make my worst days into my best days”
  • The cheesiest of relationships

You deserve the
Sickening
Puppy Love
Movie Plot
Head Over Heels
LOVE.STORY.

I promise you that it is out there, and I promise you that it is possible.

You have to be willing to believe it. You have to be willing to realize that you are the only one that can make yourself happy. You have to be willing to walk away for your sanity and your well being. Because, maybe they don’t hit you, but they might constantly make you feel like you are doing something wrong.

It is much easier said than done – we like being comfortable, we like sticking to what we know, and we like having that person there (even if we know we aren’t even really all that happy). As silly as it sounds, it’s hard putting yourself first and taking care of you. I came across this Ted article the other day and fell in love. I instantly bookmarked it so I can go back and remind myself to take care of my emotional mental health.

There comes a time where you have to put self love first – your happiness, your sanity, YOUR life – that’s what matters. Stop coming up with excuses as to why the cons outweigh the pros, it is time for you to be happy.

We were all put here to be happy…so make it happen.
It’s your time.

A Year Ago…

Vanish
From friendships to hobbies to habits
another year gone, and so many changes
Letting go of what was
Letting the grudges disappear

The daily prompt today is vanish. I’ve been thinking a lot about this past year. Thinking about how much has changed – how much has vanished, but also how much has appeared. I’m starting to realize who my true friends are and am beginning to grow closer to them all. I’m gaining new friendships, and rekindling old ones, and it feels great.

This time last year, I was panicking over my senior year of college…worrying about failing my finals, graduating on time (even though it was a year late but shh), finding a job after college and finally being a big kid. I was worried about having friends and making sure I was still in the loop. I was fixated on grudges that I was holding onto and was all too interested in what everyone was doing.

Now, it is about love and happiness
It is about who, and what, brings me joy.
It is not about what others think,
instead it is what I know to be true…
& I know that I am strong!

It is time to focus on me – my well being, my happiness, and my priorities. It is time to focus on those who take the time to focus on me. Now, I am only 24 years old, I know that I am still young and have a lot to learn. However, I have recently come to terms with the fact that every relationship needs to be a give and take, I do not see the point in putting effort into a relationship that is a one way street. At first, it was really hard to realize this and be okay with it, now, I am embracing it.

Vanishing sounds like such a scary and horrible thing. But I’m starting to realize it’s the exact opposite. It just means change, and change is good. Change is exciting. It means letting go of the past, letting go of grudges, and letting the negativity disappear. It means learning new things about yourself and allows you to grow as a person.

It’s time to be positive, and it is time to start finding the silver lining.

Horrifying Echo Effect

Today, my heart is full of sadness. I read yet another article about another person taking her life, at the young, beautiful age of 18, because the bullies finally got to her.

It breaks my heart to know that THIS is what we have come to:

  • Parents teaching their kids that it is okay to beat someone’s mind and confidence down.
  • Teenagers thinking it is okay to tear someone down because they’re having a bad day.
  • Children being raised in houses filled with hate and resentment for other humans.
  • The absolute lack of discipline for actions so horrible.
  • The fact that there are MULTIPLE APPS for the sole purpose of hiding who you are…absolutely nothing good can come from this, because apparently spreading love is too much to ask for.

These applications are used to pretend to be someone you’re not, whether it’s to fool someone into liking you or to hide behind a screen while you – quite literally – ruin someone’s life.

As someone who was bullied in middle school, I can attest to the fact that it is horrifying. I thank God that the extent of mine was having friends turned against me for ridiculous reasons and was not extreme enough to make me feel so hopeless. Some people aren’t so lucky…

Those words: “you’re so ugly” “jeez, you’re so fat that you should really start asking for two seats in class” “you have no friends, what are you even doing here?” “Why don’t you just kill yourself?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

Those words are a never ending echo for the person who has to hear them. When you start hearing something enough times, you really start to believe that it is true. I am honestly choking up just writing this; I cannot imagine the horror, hatred, sadness, loneliness, and frustration these people have.

What we also have to realize is that compliments and LOVE also echo within us. Unfortunately, it takes a lot more of those words to stick. Being a good human being does not cost a thing, it does not hurt you, it does not take more than the 5 seconds to share a smile. Being a bully takes manipulation, planning, apps to keep yourself a secret, and the never ending guilt that you end up with after you cost someone their life.

We are all here for the same reason – to live our lives happily. We all want to be full of joy in everything that we do. We all want to be liked. We all want to feel love. Being mean to other people is not a reflection of them, it’s a reflection of you, and being mean won’t get you anything but a life full of hatred for others and yourself.

Life is full of challenges…so let’s start accepting some of them:

Teach your children to love
Say hi to that person in the elevator
Smile at that person on the street
Tell your loved ones that you love them
Let everyone know you’re there for them
Don’t ever give up
Sit with that lonely kid (or adult!) at lunch
Think before you speak
Realize you are NEVER alone 

If you ever find yourself in need of some help:
Suicide prevention lifeline – If you feel like you’re reaching the edge
7 Cups of Tea – If you just want someone to listen to you
Is it time to get help? – If you’re wondering if it’s time to reach out
You are NEVER alone – this is to my contact section, do not ever hesitate to reach out to me. I am a great listener, I will never judge you, and I won’t even answer if you just want to get something off your chest
God Bless, and stay safe 

Wellness Wednesday is Back!

Now, last Wednesday I talked a lot about health. This Wednesday, I want to focus on the health of your mind and happiness, because those are equally as important. 

As I said in my about the author, Miranda Lambert is my spirit animal. I love her music and her attitude – she stays real and doesn’t try to hide her flaws. 

Her new (DOUBLE!!!!!!!!) album just came out and I’m already in love. She has a lot of awesome songs on there that really help tell the story about the last year or so of her life. There’s one on there, though, that sticks with me the most: Runnin Just In Case. 

The last line of this song is “happiness ain’t prison, but there’s freedom in a broken heart.” 

This line struck me so hard. I know so many people, myself included, who have struggled with the idea of ending something – whether it be a relationship, a habit, a lifestyle, or something completely different. 

In regards to a relationship; 

  • we’re worried about being alone
  • we’re comfortable where we are so we don’t want to change it
  • we’re too scared to make a move. 

In regards to a habit or a lifestyle; 

  • it just seems like a burden to change the way we eat, or 
  • plan out the way we spend money, or 
  • wake up earlier and go to sleep earlier 

 We fear change. And that’s okay, it’s how we handle it that makes it a problem. 

When I first heard that line, I played it back probably 3 times, and I really had to think about the meaning. 

And then it hit me. 

There IS freedom in a broken heart. You find yourself, you find out how to live without someone else, or something else, that you’re so used to having. You learn about how strong you truly are, and that you CAN make it through and do anything you set your mind to. You learn who your TRUE FRIENDS are. Making a drastic change is stressful and it’s painful, your true friends will be there to help you pick up the pieces. 

The most important thing when talking about relationships, is realizing there is life OUTSIDE of love. You will be happy again, you will be strong and make it through. You’ll meet other people, find new friends and new hobbies. You will get there, you just have to be willing to do it. 

So here’s to another challenge!! This time, I challenge you to be happy! I know it sounds silly, but it can be hard to make that move! Baby steps are the perfect place to start, evaluate your happiness, and prioritize what you need to do to get there. Don’t wait until the new year for that resolution (because those always die by February 1st). Start the year off right by starting on the right path, instead of starting with having to make a scary change. 

And to you, Miranda Lambert, THANK YOU! Your music, interviews, posts and stories have inspired me in so many ways. Thank you for staying true to yourself, and for never trying to hide who you are. Writing is my passion, and having your idol speak to you in their song to inspire a reason to write is truly an incredible feeling. 

And since I know you all want to be just as obsessed as I am, here’s Runnin Just In Case!

Happy Wellness Wednesday!

Hi friends!

This week, I made a really important promise to myself; I’m gonna stop complaining, and start acting.

I have been really unhappy with my health, I’ve gained a lot of weight, and can tell in every picture or glance in the mirror. I kept complaining and saying it needed to change but kept getting off track.

I’ve always been the person to tell people “if you don’t like something, change it!” and I’m finally taking my own advice.

It’s time for no more excuses!


I’m waking up at (precisely) 4:06 in the morning, and getting my butt to the gym early. I’m starting with a plan that worked for me in the past and will alter as I go!

Now I have my (very few) followers to hold me accountable –  no more backing out.

I also understand it is extremely important to take care of your mind. I think it’s really important for all of us to take a step back and think about that sometimes.

Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Take that extra time in the day to relax and do something to unwind. Compliment a stranger on the street or give to a charity (surprisingly enough, things that don’t even benefit me, are the things that make me the happiest).

It’s okay to be sad sometimes, it’s okay to be angry sometimes, what matters most is that you don’t let it ruin you. Keep your chin up, keep your mind positive, and keep moving forward!


Cheesy motivation post over; carry on 🤗

I Challenge You

This week at work, I signed up to participate in Letters to Santa. This is a program where underprivileged kids send in their ‘letters to santa’ and people are able to pick up the letters to get them the presents of their dreams.

If they’re school age and able, they write out their letters. My little boy is 5 years old, and drew me pictures. His requests were so simple: a “bunny rabbit” (sorry kid, but you can only get a stuffed one), “books about turtles” (with a beautiful picture of a turtle that has one giant eyebrow and the face on the back of his head), and “a Mexican flag”!

I have done programs like this with my family before, and I have seen some heartbreaking wishes – children asking for necessities like hats, gloves, coats, and boots.

It really made me take a step back and realize how lucky I am.

We (myself included) complain about every little thing:

  • Having to wake up early to go to work
  • Having “no food” in the house 
  • Not getting that $50 makeup and having to settle for the “cheap” $20 one
  • Not having the trendiest clothes 
  • Having an “older” model car or smart phone 
  • Not being able to afford a manicure or to get your hair colored

I want to take a pledge. A pledge to start being more thankful, more appreciative. We take so many things for granted, and it’s really not okay for us to do so. We have SO much that other people would kill for. 

This holiday season, I challenge you. I challenge you to pay it forward, do a good deed. Whether it’s as small as paying for someone’s coffee, or as big as paying off someone’s layaway at the store. Be thankful for what we have. I hope that you carry on the holiday spirit and generosity well after the holiday season is over. 

People aren’t only struggling during the holidays. Sometimes, people just need a smile and a hello to turn them away from the edge.

We’re all in this life together, and you never know what someone is going through. It never hurts to be kind. 

God bless, and stay safe. ❤️

America the Divided

This morning, I woke up sad. 

I am not only sad for the fact that someone as insulting as Trump could be elected, but I am also sad for us as a country. Now, this is not necessarily because I think we will be run into the ground – although I am very nervous for the future of our nation – I am sad for us because we just took so many steps back. I, in no way, was a strong supporter of either candidate. They both had major flaws that scared me.

As a country, we should be brave. We should be strong and stand together. As fellow citizens, we should be willing to back each other up, to help one another out. We should be PROUD of our country. We should be waving our flags and moving on. We should be welcoming new people, encouraging them to bring their culture and their ideas. 

After this election, all of that goes out the window. I am praying that I am proven wrong. I truly hope that we come together as a country, that this man, and supporters of both candidates, can put their differences aside and keep working to be the best nation on the planet. 

It’s time to step up. It’s time to stand together and back each other up. 

Now, I’m not saying I know a lot about politics, I am not some political expert who follows every aspect. I know there are plenty of things I don’t know, but I do know that we will never make it if we are constantly grabbing at each other’s throats. It’s time to put on our big kid pants and learn how to play nice. 

I may not be a fan of our president, but I am a fan of our country

At this point, we must focus on what we can do right; how can we make this better? What can we do, as a country, to TRULY make America great again?

God bless, and stay safe.